Discomfort isn't dangerous

True discomfort is not always a sign of something truly dangerous. This week, I'm sharing one of the tools I use in therapy to teach people about their emotions and the stress-threat response.

This week, I wanted to share a practical tool I use in therapy to help people better understand how their emotions and the stress-threat response work to keep them safe.

Many clients come to therapy and report feeling points of pain or discomfort. Psychoeducation is a tool we use in therapy to educate our clients about how the brain and body works. Teaching clients about emotions, stress, safety, thoughts, and pattern recognition gives them more tools in their tool box. We use psychoeducation as a supplement to the work we’re doing in therapy; having more tools means we can build the skills to tackle a challenging problem.

One of the comments I hear frequently from clients is that they don’t want to experience so much discomfort. Some of our work may be to figure out the source of the discomfort and some of it may be to figure out how to change the patterns that are causing or reinforcing moments of discomfort. Part of the work may be to help people better understand their own reactions and patterns so they can choose or practice the ones that make them feel better.

Understanding our patterns and responses is challenging, which is why many people benefit from speaking to a professional. One of my favourite analogies to explain how these patterns to keep us stuck feeling or thinking a certain way is called The Watering Hole Analogy.

The Watering Hole Analogy

Let’s say you’re an antelope. In order to get sustenance and nourishment, you visit the watering hole to satisfy your need for hydration. Every time you go to the watering hole, you feel satisfied and present. You are getting your needs met and you are equipped to handle the situation. The demands of the environment are not high and there are no stressors or threats present, so you feel safe.

Now, let’s say one day you return to the watering hole and a lion is there. Your nervous system registers the threat and your stress-threat system responds by making you feel uncomfortable. The discomfort, just like an internal alarm bell, is the switch that turns on your survival system so you can choose the best possible combination of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that will keep you alive. You notice the threat, your heart rate increases, and your muscles get tense. The flight response turns on to keep you safe; in order to minimize the threat and ensure your survival, you flee. You are safe again because you’ve avoided the danger at the watering hole.

Due to that one experience at the watering hole, your nervous system becomes more attuned and sensitive to the potential dangers at the watering hole. You’ve adapted a sensitivity to the environment that previously felt unsafe. Through repeated exposure to a potentially dangerous situation, we develop sensitivities to help us navigate future similar situations. This is called adaptive sensitization.

And here’s the kicker: