How to increase motivation

You've tried to find motivation but you just can't do it. You've tried to find momentum but you're stuck in neutral. Practical tips and tools for building motivation and getting things going.

Each week, paid subscribers will receive three practical strategies to help them address the topic of the week. This week, I’m sharing my favourite strategies for building motivation in order to find momentum in life. You can find the Weekly Practice at the bottom of this article.

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Many of us can relate to that feeling where we’re struggling to find momentum or having a hard time finding our footing. In therapy, I see a lot of clients struggling to find motivation and live the life they want to. Know that feeling unmotivated can be a symptom of a mental health issue but feeling unmotivated is not alone a cause for concern. We all go through cycles and periods of sadness, stuckness, and not feeling motivated to accomplish what we’d like to.

When we are struggling to find traction, there are typically three layers of this issue, each with a question that frames the issue we experience— the what, the why, and the how.

1. What am I trying to accomplish?

2. Why am I feeling stuck?

3. How do I get unstuck?

Each of these questions presents a new layer to our experience of finding motivation. Whether we are trying to accomplish a goal, build a new routine, or simply trying to fold the laundry, if we want to find movement, we have to get clear on what form of stuckness we are struggling with. Many of us struggle to identify what exactly we’re struggling with, so it is important to first identify if we’re struggling to find a motivator (“the what”), the motivating reason (“the why”), or the motivation roadmap (“the how”).

Idling produces exhaustion

Before I go through each example, I want to offer some normalization. If you’re currently in a position of struggling with motivation or having trouble initiating tasks, do know that you are not alone. Struggling to find motivation is its own form of exhaustion. You may have the desire to make a change but you simply just don’t have enough energy to do it. Know that this is not a flaw within you— it might just be about needing to put the right systems in place to allow you to feel more successful in each attempt you’re making.

When you’re constantly trying to achieve your goals without success, exhaustion and demotivation sets in. Going through the motions of life can also make for a state of stagnation. Stagnation can sometimes feel comfortable because it is familiar. Stagnation can also feel tiresome and overwhelming, especially if the stagnation is causing you to regress or fall behind on where you’d like to be in life. In any case, idling in place is exhausting if you’ve continued to hope for a different outcome after each attempt at trying something new.

You’re getting nowhere

Most of us can also recognize the feeling of frustration, worry, and guilt that comes from having goals for ourselves and not enough momentum, energy, or opportunity to accomplish them. It can feel like we’re getting nowhere and sometimes it can feel easier to give up. As I mentioned above, one of the reasons we end up getting nowhere is not because we don’t want it enough, it’s because we haven’t yet identified the root of our immobilization.

1. What am I trying to accomplish?

In order to find momentum, you must first have a goal and an outcome in mind. Here are some questions to think about: What exactly am I trying to do here? Why do I want this for myself? How will I know when I’ve accomplished my goal? Can I imagine the separate steps I will need to take? What would it mean for me to achieve this? Can I envision what this outcome would look like? How would it change or influence my life, my thinking, my identity, and my relationships?

Now, you might think this is a bit existential if all you’re trying to do is find motivation to fold your socks and steam your favourite shirts. In any case, the questions above are meant to help you break this goal down into separate steps and distinct phases. According to research, it is helpful to imagine the outcome you’re hoping for (and hold that in your mind throughout the task) rather than thinking about worst case scenarios, convincing yourself why you shouldn’t do it, or imagining yourself failing at it.

2. Why am I feeling stuck?

It is often said that we don’t just avoid tasks, we avoid feelings about tasks. With that in mind, it’s important to be honest about how we’re feeling. Emotional honesty is shown to be an effective way to help us move through the tunnel to reach the other side. When we don’t acknowledge how we’re feeling, we’re more likely to stay stuck in patterns of rumination, resentment, and overthinking. When we’re stuck in these similar patterns of unhelpful thinking, our brain learns that its not ready to move forward with the task.

This means it is helpful for us to label and address the feelings that are at the root of our stagnation and stuckness. There is likely a feeling (or set of feelings) that drives our need to conserve energy, freeze up, slow down, and shut down. In order to mobilize, our nervous system has to feel safe, confident, and equipped to move forward. Otherwise, our nervous system has a built in way of holding us back and keeping us from progressing into doing something that seems uncomfortable, dangerous, or unsafe. It might be important to recognize the feeling that drives the stuckness. When honouring how we feel doesn’t seem to be working, it might be important to approach the situation while feeling whatever you feel. You might have to do it while feeling afraid, uncomfortable, anxious, worried, frustrated, and frozen.

3. How do I get unstuck?

The truth is that there are many strategies out there in order to find motivation and get going. One of the challenges I see people struggling with the most is being unable to separate thinking and doing. We often assume that thinking always leads to doing and overthinking always leads to action. Sadly, this isn’t the case. Knowing more and thinking more does not ensure we’ll be able to find motivation. Thinking about what we want out of life does not guarantee that we will find our way forward.

Instead of banking of willpower and thought alone, it is helpful to have a plan. This is the best strategy I can share to build new habits, achieve a goal, find motivation to do something new or different, or find momentum in your life. Make a plan and stick to it. Sometimes we struggle to create the plan. Sometimes we struggle to stick to it. Sometimes we don’t like the monotony of the plan. And sometimes the plan doesn’t make us feel satisfied or rewarded often enough. In any case, it is important to have a plan that you feel confident about.

Review: What makes a solid plan?

We can return to the core questions of the article in order to develop a solid plan that you can feel confident in. Here’s how:

1. What am I trying to accomplish?

   1. What is my vision or desired goal?

   2. Why do I want to achieve this vision or goal?

   3. Can I imagine myself accomplishing the task or is that difficult?

2. Why am I feeling stuck?

   1. Am I having trouble starting, continuing, or knowing when the task or goal is complete?

   2. When I imagine myself starting, continuing, or completing the task or goal, how do I feel?

   3. What feelings are in my way?

   4. What is my plan or approach for when these feelings come up?

3. How do I get unstuck?

   1. What will I do when I encounter these feelings?

   2. What strategies do I have in my back pocket for when these feelings arise?

   3. What is my plan for getting unstuck?

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Weekly Practice

Each week, paid subscribers will get access to my top three strategies for addressing the challenges and issues being discussed for the week. This week, I am sharing a list of my favourite strategies for increasing motivation and getting things going.