Worry, hurry, alarm, and overwhelm

There are four major ways our stress gets activated. It stays in a constant loop if we don't hop off or do anything to resolve it. What doesn't get completed gets carried.

There are four major stress amplifiers that keep us stuck in a state of constant stress: worry, hurry, alarm, and overwhelm. These reactions may have situational or historical roots, however that might not be as pertinent as the response we introduce when these reactions inevitably elevate and activate our stress.

Worry

Worry is a state of constant thinking about negative or terrible outcomes. Worry turns out thoughts into threat-oriented thinking. It is an attempt to analyze a situation quickly and thoroughly. Worry activates our stress cycle as a way to help us turn our thoughts into actions. Though, worrying often keeps us trapped in our heads and stuck in cycles of rumination and overthinking. Worrying is also a way to feel like we’re in control of something we have no control over

Here is a list of common worries:

• “What should I do?”

• “What’s going to happen?”

• “How am I going to feel?”

• “Is everything going to be okay?”

• “Am I doing the right thing or the wrong thing?”

• “Where do I stand with others?”

• “What will others think of me?”

• “Are they mad at me?”

It isn’t all bad. Worry also allows us to be future-thinking. When we are in a window of healthy worry, we can for see future negative scenarios, predict bad outcomes, and avoid dangerous situations in advance of them occurring. When it’s working well, worry helps us to connect our thinking to an action; it creates movement where there is stuckness. We have evolved to worry so that we can be prepared to handle a dangerous situation or a potentially life-threatening circumstance. But not all problems we encounter are truly dangerous and life-threatening.

Hurry

Hurry is a state of urgency. It is rushing around, it is frenzy, it is constant busyness, and it is a state of perpetual doing. Hurry is not our default mode, though many of us remain in a state of hurry — in pace, in rhythm, in movement, and in our minds. Hurry is what keeps us distracted by the multiple tasks we have on our plate and it prevents us from being present. Like worrying, being in a state of hurry makes it feel like we are doing something instead of nothing. Hurry activates the stress reaction cycle and keeps the cycle activated so long as we are hurrying and rushing around.

It isn’t all bad. Hurry is also the state that allows us to mobilize and take action in our lives. It can be a type of healthy stress that generates a solution and gets us moving when we’re feeling frozen, stuck, and without a plan.

Hurry is also how we turn our worries into plans. It allows us to keep up with our to-do lists and moving towards a desired outcome. Being in a constant state of hurry makes it feels as though everything is urgent and needs to be completed and addressed immediately. Things aren’t always as urgent as they feel.

Alarm

When the wash of worry and the rush of hurry combine, they produce a fear-based reaction called alarm. The alarm reaction shifts us from threat-detector to threat-detected. Alarm is a state of internal shock, startle, and panic. An alarm reaction turns general stress into distress. Alarm is what happens when we shift towards emotional dysregulation after encountering or perceiving a threat.

Alarm reactions can be big or small. The startle reaction, such as blinking fast or flinching, is an example of a small-scale alarm reaction that cues us into danger alertness and allows us to react accordingly. A larger-scale alarm reaction would be something like a panic attack, which may include a full-body physiological reaction to a certain trigger. The alarm reaction is akin to a fire alarm or smoke detector; we can either pull the alarm using our own thoughts and actions or the alarm bells may sound if smoke is detected.

Overwhelm

When we live in a constant state of threat-detection, we move back and forth between alarm and overwhelm. Overwhelm is what happens when we have spent all of our inner resources and we have nothing left to give. It is a state of being so overtaken with stress that we move beyond distress into states of protection and preservation— fight, flight, fright, freeze, fawn, and fold.

Being overwhelmed on a consistent basis leads to burnout. It is a state of constant inundation and being completely defeated by stress. We are overwhelmed when it feels like life is unfolding faster than we can keep up with it. Overwhelm is a state of stress that doesn’t just require rest. It requires recovery.

What doesn’t get completed gets carried

The best way to buffer against these patterns of stress is to find the people and places that allow us to hop off the constant loop of stress; the worry, the hurry, the alarm, and the overwhelm. When we are unable to hop off the stress loop, we stay swirling, spiralling, and circling the drain until we experience safety or relief.

When we are around people that activate the stress loop or we are in a place that fuels our stress chemistry, our goal is to find a level of safety, stability and self care such that it will provide relief. This may look like venting to someone who cares, taking action to solve an issue with a difficult colleague, or setting a boundary with a stressful family member. This may also look like changing up the environment by finding a new job, building a new routine, or leaving a roommate that is difficult to live with.

Of course, the only solution is not just not cut people out or continue changing the environments in the hopes that things will change. Sometimes it is us that has to do the changing. This is especially true because the stress still remains inside of us, even in the absence of a stressor or long after a threat has been removed from our life. With that, we have to remember to complete our stress loops by engaging in healthy and productive coping responses.

When our stress is activated, our goal is to complete the stress cycle and hop off the stress loop. When we don’t do anything to address the stress that is activated inside of us, it remains there until we do something about it. By the end of each day, we should aim to do something to resolve the stress from the day. Otherwise, what doesn’t get completed gets carried over into the next day.

Remember: What doesn’t get completed gets carried.